All newlyweds go through a barrage of emotions before and during the wedding, but few ever talk about how they feel after the wedding.
Is it normal to feel disappointed after your wedding?
It is normal to feel disappointed after your wedding, although it is rarely a persistent feeling. There are different reasons you may feel disappointed after your wedding. Luckily, there are many ways to work past your disappointment and focus on your new life.
Feeling disappointed after your wedding is completely normal; however, it is important to understand why you feel disappointed in the first place.
Not all disappointment is normal after a wedding, so it is vital to work through your feelings.
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Does Everyone Feel Disappointed After Their Wedding?
Everyone does not feel disappointed after their wedding, but many people do, which is normal.
Weddings are extremely difficult events to prepare for, emotionally and physically.
Planning and preparing for your wedding takes so much effort that the actual event often does not live up exactly to what you imagined. Understandably, many people do feel disappointed after their wedding.
7 Reasons You May Feel Disappointed After Your Wedding
There are many reasons why you feel disappointed after your wedding. Here are some of the most common ones.
1. It Was Over Too Fast
The thing I hear the most from my newlywed friends is that the wedding was over too fast. It was as if they just blinked, and months of planning was over in just a few hours.
So many things are happening during a wedding that the couple usually misses most of what is going on. This often results in one or both parties feeling disappointed that their wedding was over so quickly.
2. Things Did Not Go as Planned
Weddings almost never go as planned, and that can lead to a lot of disappointment for the couple.
Wedding guests may not cooperate, cakes may not be delivered on time, the food might get cold, or someone could even fall during the wedding.
Sometimes it seems like everything that could go wrong does go wrong.
Couples put so much time and energy into planning their weddings that they get disappointed afterward if anything does not go as planned.
3. Someone Important Did Not Show Up
You may feel disappointed after your wedding if someone important does not show up.
Even if it was something beyond their control, their absence could put a damper on your special day.
When someone you wanted to be at your wedding could not attend, it is understandable to be disappointed about that after your wedding.
4. You Forgot Something Important
Another reason you feel disappointed after your wedding is because you may have forgotten something important.
Maybe there was a specific picture you wanted, or perhaps you forgot to commemorate your loved ones that are no longer with you.
Whatever you forget, regardless of how unimportant it seems to others, it is still completely normal for you to feel disappointed about it.
5. You Feel Like It Was Not Worth the Money Spent
Weddings can cost a lot of money, and sometimes, once the wedding is over, you may think it was not worth the money you spent. This often leads to a lot of disappointment once the wedding is over.
Everything related to a wedding costs more because of the importance of the event; however, once you start adding up what was really spent, you may feel disappointed. It is completely normal and just a part of the experience.
6. You Regret Not Spending More Money
While some couples feel disappointed over the fact that they spent too much money on their wedding, there is the possibility that you wish you had spent more money on your wedding.
Maybe you are disappointed with the quality of the cake, or you wish you would have gotten that horse and carriage you wanted.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but that does not mean that your wedding lacked anything.
However, feeling disappointed about some aspects of your wedding is still completely normal, especially if you think a little extra money would have prevented those feelings.
7. You Expected to Feel Differently Afterwards
Many newlyweds expect to feel completely different after their wedding and are disappointed that nothing has changed.
They may have thought their relationship would have improved or that they would, all of a sudden, feel married.
The truth is that everything really stays about the same immediately after you get married, and it takes a while for the relationship to evolve. This often leads to some disappointment for both parties involved.
How to Work Through Your Wedding Disappointment
There are many ways to acknowledge and work through your disappointment after your wedding.
Talk to Your Friends or Family
Do not be afraid to talk to your friends and family about feeling disappointed after the wedding. You will likely find they felt the same way after their wedding.
If you are worried about how your new marriage will affect your relationship with your family or friends, make it a priority to keep in touch and spend time together.
Talk to Your New Spouse
Although you may think they will not understand, talking to your spouse about your feelings is often a cathartic conversation. They may have the exact same feelings but are just afraid to tell you.
Focus on the Positives
Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about what went wrong that we forget all the things that went right.
There is plenty about your wedding that was perfect in its own way, so try to focus your attention on that.
Focus on the Present
It takes time, but eventually, you will realize that you need to focus on the present. You are married now, and that is what this whole thing was for.
We all put so much into the wedding that we can forget that the central part is to marry the person we love.
Accept That You Cannot Change What Has Already Happened
If things went wrong during your wedding or did not go exactly as planned, try to remind yourself that you can’t change what happened.
If you are feeling regret about something, talk it out with someone but remember that the past is the past.
How to Know Your Disappointment is More Serious Than You Think
Although feelings of disappointment are completely normal after a wedding, it is not normal to feel that way for more than a few months.
After about six months, if you are still feeling disappointed, that could mean that things are more serious than you thought.
There is no shame in seeking help, even if you think your disappointment is not that serious. Typically, wedding disappointment fades after a few months once you settle into married life.
When to Ask for Help
If things do not seem to be getting any better after six months, it is time to find some real help. A psychotherapist can help you work through your negative feelings and understand why you have them.
Mental health therapists can ensure that something else is not causing your negative outlook. The problem may not even be the wedding itself but the evolving relationship you have with your spouse, family, or friends.
Final Thoughts
Feeling disappointed after your wedding is normal, no matter what anyone else tells you. It is not something that’s talked about much, but many people feel the exact same way after their wedding.
Disappointment often follows the months of planning and anticipation of the wedding, but that does not mean you cannot work through it and move on to the excitement of your new marriage!
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I used my experience and knowledge and the following sources to write this article.