Are you planning a wedding?
Breathe in and take it easy. While you may be expecting the most fantastic and magical wedding ever, there is a high chance that you may overstress yourself and start acting strange.
Many people have observed that weddings bring out the worst in people. Is this true?
We simply cannot deny that weddings bring out the worst in people. The stress of preparation and so many overwhelming emotions, such as fear and anxiety, love and happiness, can make you lose control of yourself, and people might assume the worst of you.
Why do weddings bring out the worst in people? What can you do to prevent this? Continue reading.
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Why Do Weddings Bring Out the Worst in People?
Here are some reasons weddings can seemingly bring out the worst in people.
1. The Stressfulness of the Wedding Preparation
Every married person today will surely have a thing or two to say about the stressfulness of the entire wedding process.
While many people can handle stress easily, stress brings out the worst in some people. This is why it may seem that some people can become extra cold, quiet, or harsh when their wedding gets closer.
This is justifiable. Even if people need to do better in terms of stress and anger management, we cannot deny the truth that wedding preparation can be extra stressful.
When preparing for your wedding, you must consider essential tasks such as funding the wedding and inviting relatives and guests. You also have to think about your clothes, the hall decorations, and the cake.
2. Overwhelming Emotions
OMG, it’s your wedding day tomorrow!
Your wedding day is the best day of your life, so everything should be perfect. You think of your partner, and you cannot help but fall in love with them from the start.
This could be true for some people, but the reality for many others is different.
Unless someone else takes care of up to 80% of your wedding arrangements, you are responsible for doing almost everything yourself (to get it all right). This anxiety, coupled with other emotions, can be overwhelming and could affect your moods and productivity.
3. Memories of People and Places
There are certain people that you do not expect to see in your life anymore. Well, don’t be surprised if you may be obligated to work with these people for the success of your wedding.
For example, you might be angry at a cousin or distant relative but are obligated to invite them to the wedding. Frustration can ensue.
Another example is your partner suggesting the idea of inviting their ex. No matter how happy you are about your marriage, this can make you upset or insecure, and you will surely express this insecurity somehow.
Certain people with whom you have specific memories you’ll encounter during your wedding preparation. The type of memory you hold with them will determine how you’d feel and act in their presence.
4. Disappointments and Bad News
The last thing that people who are preparing for their wedding want to hear is bad or sad news.
The optimism and happiness you feel as your wedding approaches can get ruined if you hear bad news.
For example, how would you feel if the news forecasts a downpour on your wedding day or if your cake won’t be delivered on time? Combining how you’d react to this news with anxiety can make you act your worst.
Or you could also be disappointed with some products or services.
For example, if your wedding dress does not fit after so much retouching or the hall decorations do not appear just as you anticipated, you could get moody.
5. Unanticipated Reactions of Others
You may be surprised by how your partner is acting or reacting to certain things, which causes you to wonder if you really know them.
Maybe you have not courted or dated them for enough time to realize who they are or how they act in certain situations.
You need to be intentional with your partner to know how they act under pressure (and if you can live with them).
Now you know many reasons people can be moody or even act their worst before their wedding.
How can we avoid this? Continue reading.
How Can You Help People Avoid Being at Their Worst?
Here are some ways to assist your relatives, friends, and even partners so that they can manage their stress.
1. Communication Is Key
Talk to them often. Ask them what they are going through and how you can help.
Couples preparing for their wedding are mostly anxious, so they should always have something to discuss. Make sure that you find out what could be troubling them and help them if you can.
You do not always have to ask them what they are going through, especially when you are always with them and you already know what is happening.
When you know what is troubling them, having a conversation with them will not be enough. It is time to help in other ways if you can.
2. Share Your Tasks
If you can see that your partner is overwhelmed with tasks, the right thing to do is to help them by doing some of their tasks.
For example, you could take care of the hall and cake arrangements while your partner focuses on other tasks such as the dress, food and snacks, invitation card printing, etc.
Sharing tasks with each other does not just reduce the burden on your partner’s shoulder; it is also a way to show your love to your partner.
When both of you can cooperate under pressure, your marriage has a higher chance of being a successful one.
3. Know When to Call for Help
If you are handling the preparation or your wedding is fast approaching, you need many people around you to help you with different tasks. You do not need to do everything on your own.
Ask your friends and relatives for help if need be. Also, you can hire people such as wedding planners for their services if you can afford them.
You can split your tasks with everyone willing to help so that while someone is working in the hall, another person is making arrangements for the cake.
With your friends and relatives helping you, you will not be overwhelmed by the many tasks.
4. Be Very Intentional About Your Partner
Even if you see that your partner is acting strange, go close to them and try to find out what’s wrong specifically. Was it something you said? What is someone you were talking to?
Do not act confused or angry when your partner is acting confused or angry. At any given time in a relationship, one person has to be the stable person for the other.
This does not mean you should ignore warning signs or red flags when you see them.
Your partner acting up under pressure could be because of the stress, but it could also be them revealing who they are. This is why you need to know who you are getting married to.
5. Date and Marry a Kind Person
One way for your partner to avoid reaching their worst is for them to be kind (naturally).
Stable, happy people manage stress easily as they focus more on every situation’s positive side. This means that tasks that can break others won’t break you and your partner, as long as you are both kind.
Remember that dating a kind person is not enough; you must also be kind. Learning to help each other and communicate often reduces stress. Who else is there to talk to but your partner you love so much?
Now you know how you and your partner can handle stress.
What do you think? Does your partner’s behavior during the time of wedding preparation determine how they will behave when you are finally married? Continue reading.
How to Predict How Your Partner Might Behave When Married
Many adults have behaviors and patterns they are comfortable in. A strangely behaving adult could be an expression of what is already in them, so you always need to get to know your partner better.
Here are some ways to get to know your partner better:
- Court or Date Them to Know Them Better: You should court your partner for many months (or even up to a few years) so that you can know how they behave at their best or worst.
- Observe How They Treat People: An effective way to learn how your partner will treat you in marriage is to observe how they treat their relatives, friends, coworkers, and waiters.
- Observe the Behavior and Habits of Your Partner’s Friends and Relatives: One indirect way to learn how your partner can behave is to observe the behavior of their friends and relatives (i.e., people close to them). Humans are usually drawn to like-minded people.
Remember to be intentional with your partner and be kind to them.
Even though weddings can bring out the worst in people, you have to realize that it can be due to stress and other factors.
So long as you are intentional about your partner, the both of you can cooperate and go through the hurdles of wedding preparation successfully together.