Let’s face it; as humans, we can’t run from every emotion we can feel, especially the ones that might make us feel like nothing is going right. Anger, sadness, disappointment, regrets, all of these feelings are part of being a socially involved person. But more often than not, we tend to dwell on regrets more than anything.
Regrets can happen in any situation, even after one of the happiest days of our life, our wedding. You read that right! Wedding regrets happen, especially for couples who have put extra effort into making the biggest day of their lives enjoyable, perfect, and free from any mishap.
However, some things are within our control, and some are beyond our reach. You can plan everything about your wedding day months or weeks in advance. Hire the best DJ, book the most popular wedding planner, rent the largest wedding hall, and hire the best caterer in town.
But, there are some aspects of unpredictability that we still can’t control. Hence, when you still feel regretful after you’ve done your best, the only way to cope with this feeling is to deal with it!
Here are some tips for coping with wedding regrets:
Table of Contents
Learn to Be Content With Everything That Has Already Happened
Acceptance is the key to a happy life.
No matter what transpired on the wedding day, it’s already happened.
If possible, try to understand that there is nothing you can do to rewind the clock. It’s all in the past. Talking about “what-ifs” will only cause you to overthink unnecessary things.
As long as you know that you have done your best and your partner is happy with you, that is all that matters! You are not denying your emotions or feelings. Instead, when you are content, you better integrate your emotions into your daily life.
Then, you can accept your past while living fully in the present. It will be easier for you to focus on the more significant thing: your future with your partner.
Communicate With Your Partner About Your Feelings
In any relationship, communication is the biggest key that can make or break the bond between two people.
Talk to your partner about your emotions, no matter how small or trivial they might seem. In return, ask how your partner feels and what you can do together to deal with that emotion. Avoid trying to repress your feelings.
Over time, any feeling that has been repressed can cause other serious issues that can lead to bigger problems. Your partner will not try to invalidate your regrets. Instead, they will listen if you try to communicate and share.
Be Mindful of All the Triggers
If you’re anxious, you are more likely to overthink things, which can cause anxiety and restlessness.
Be mindful of all the triggers that can cause you to feel those regrets, sadness, and other heavy emotions.
If drinking coffee makes you jittery and anxious, try to reduce your caffeine intake and replace it with better options such as drinking juices or plain water. If looking at all the photos taken during your wedding may cause you to feel sad or regretful, avoid looking at them for a while until you are entirely sure that those feelings have subsided.
Reach Out to Your Family and Friends
Your new spouse isn’t the only person you can talk to. Although you will spend most of your time under the same roof with your partner, they might have other chores or work to do.
So, if you are feeling down or battling with your emotions, don’t hesitate to reach out to your family and friends.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
Instead, you are courageous enough to come forward and share your emotion with someone else. The people you choose to have around could influence your mood and thoughts. So, reach out and ask for emotional support when you need it.
Focus on the Good Things
There is no better way to deal with problems, mistakes, and hardships than through optimism.
Having more positive thoughts that can outweigh heavy emotions can go a long way when dealing with regrets.
So, focus all your energy on all the wonderful things that happened during your wedding day.
Chances are, you will notice some of the good things you missed, and from there, you can try to recall all the happy moments you had with everyone.
Also, try to speak more about positive things, no matter how small. The words we choose can empower our thoughts more than anything.
Try to Look at All the Mishaps as a Fun Experience
In life, you can’t be serious all the time, or else you won’t enjoy all the little things, good or bad. So, look at all the mishaps and mistakes that cause you regrets as a fun experience. You have more reasons to laugh at them if no harm or damage was done.
In the future, when you look back at these things, you will realize how trivial and minor they seem compared to other important and more significant things in your life.
Allow Yourself to Feel the Emotion
The recipe for an emotional meltdown is repression.
When you try to repress your feelings, you don’t allow yourself to experience the emotion. In turn, you unconsciously try to deny all your troubling thoughts while simultaneously putting your emotions on hold. Over time, the build-up of these emotions can cause a sudden outburst, leading to more extensive mental health problems.
So, allow yourself to feel the emotion, no matter how big or small it could be. Never rush, and take your own time to digest everything before moving on. Trust the process.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Once you know you can finally move on, learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them in the future. To make this easier, you can try to visualize the experience and look at yourself from a third-person viewpoint. Then, ask yourself what you would do if those things happened again.
What are the things that are within your power? And what are the things that you can’t control? Chances are, if those unavoidable things happen again, you will be better prepared; physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help and Reassurance
The battle to overcome your feeling of regret may not finish in just a day. Ironically, there are also times when you feel like you have completely moved on from that feeling. But the next day, it resurfaces and makes you feel the same way again.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help and reassurance all over again.
It would be best to remember that emotion is fickle, and there is no telling when you can finally deal with it. But one thing for sure is that when it happens, you are the only one who will know and believe it.
Spend More Quality Time With Your Partner
Lastly, the best way to avoid negative thoughts when dealing with regrets is to spend more quality time with your partner. When you are alone, there is a higher chance of wallowing and dwelling on the past.
So, arrange a daily sharing session, weekly dinner out, or even an evening stroll in the park to ease your mind. If possible, avoid spending too much time indoors, go out, have fun, and meet other people.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, you don’t have to feel like you’re alone. Wedding regrets are common, and others share the same feeling, if not worse. You can always shift your perspective and look at the bright side.
Your wedding day is another day to honor your love for your partner. What matters the most is the life you’re about to share after the wedding. So, take a baby step and sift through the feelings until you feel better.
Like the old saying, this too shall pass.
Resources
- https://www.spain4weddings.com/how-to-deal-with-wedding-regrets-and-move/
- https://www.marthastewart.com/7888454/how-to-move-past-wedding-regrets
- https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/how-to-get-over-post-wedding-regrets/
- https://www.insideweddings.com/news/planning-design/how-to-handle-wedding-day-disappointment/
- https://maisonvieneworleans.com/dealing-with-marriage-regret/
- https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/did-anyone-have-post-wedding-regrets-and-obsess-about-them
- https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/serious-post-wedding-depression-regrets/